Well the babies are here and all doing well, and our family is slowly adjusting to the changes.
Having triplets and a csection is totally different in many ways from just having one. With a natural birth you get to bond with your Baby immediately, having a csection you are in surgery, you have to recover and then a few hours later you finally see them and the meds have your mind messed up. For me I knew they were my babies, I knew I loved them but it really took till the evening when I was finally feeling better... Well the next day to be honest to actually feel what was going on.
Life in the NICU; Well it has its pros and cons. The babies are in SUCH GOOD HANDS, you feel soo comfortable in there because you watch them care for your little ones like they would their own family. You bond with the staff and they start to feel like family... The babies are all healthy, getting stronger every day and an ABSOLUTE JOY!! They are really GOOD babies!! So when the staff gets assigned to them they always say they love it because they only need to be loved on, fed and changed. The other babies in there are not in good shape, they need ALLOT of care and I feel SOOOO BLESSED that God didn't put me in those parents shoes!!!!
Then the downside is leaving them to come home. You have the surgery, you've held, seen, and bonded with your Babies and now you are going home empty handed. Your mind cannot comprehend the situation. You feel like your heart is beetling out of your chest... Yet you are surviving one painful step in front of the other.
Then a few days after traveling back and forth you finally except it for what it is and let God and the AMAZING STAFF do their job and you just move forward everyday just waiting for the day when they say " you can take them home"
I thought the pregnancy was hard but it's the after that is the hardest. Allison isn't aloud in the NICU so that makes "normal" life hard. We have taken her with us and let her play in the Ronald McDonald room and hang out with us. But... The whole day it was taking shifts who was with Allison and who was with the Babies. The ride up to the Hospital is filled with excitement and the road home is exhaustion. Every night we come home we crash, we are so tired that all we want to do is sleep. And yet all I want to do is talk to Alli and hear about her day, I want to hug and kiss her and never let go, but it's soooo late that we all need sleep. The mornings are filled with rushing around, getting ready and before we know it someone's here to pick up Alli or we're dropping her off somewhere and it's up to the Hospital we go... An hour away.
From the Moment Allison was born she really has never left my side. She never spent the night anywhere, she would only be with someone for a few hours so I could run to an appointment or go to a reception so this time really feels like I am being pulled in a million directions. I want soooo badly to be with Allison but I also want her to have good days and play with her friends and family. I feel selfish that I want to keep her with us because I know hanging out at a hospital isn't fun but when I am with the Babies I miss her so much it hurts. When I am home all I can think about is getting back to the Hospital but the thought of not being with Alli ANOTHER DAY brakes my heart!!
My Family and Friends have been AMAZING!! They will watch Alli for us and take her places and she ALWAYS IS SMILING when she is with them so I know she is doing fine with everything. It's Eric and I who struggle with the tug of war feeling on our hearts.
"I honestly couldn't tell you how we do it" is my answer to people when they ask. I say " God has me wrapped in cotton and I am just taking it one day at a time" everyday we go in there is better news on how the babies are, the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter every day and we pray that the day they will be coming home is sooner than later.
So outside of the truth on life in the NICU, life is really good!!! Tired all the time, yes but that comes with the teritory, you just roll with it and pray that ONE day they all will sleep through the night... And one day so will I... With my family all together again... The Talbot Family of 6.
Hey Andrea, I wanted to tell you that last year my baby Sophie was in the hospital for 2 weeks and it KILLED me not to be with Abby. I'd come home for an hour or two at night to tuck her in, read her stories and shower than go back to the hospital because Sophie REALLY needed me. She was really sick. Every time I'd leave Abby I'd cry because I missed her so much so I can relate to that pain. But the amazing thing is when you talk to her about it now she says "Wasn't that so fun when Soph was in the hospital and I got to play with Nana every day". My mother in law and friends stepped up in huge ways and made her days WONDERFUL. She doesn't remember the agony that I felt being torn in two directions, she remembers the fun and love that was poured into her and I tell you this to encourage you. Ali is being poured into and loved on by many I am sure. I am sure it's harder on you than her and be encouraged that my biggest trial is remembered by my sweet Abby as a "fun time"! Which totally blows my mind, but I am sure is the Lord. God filled in the cracks that I couldn't be there for :) as I am sure is happening with your sweet Ali as well. Much Love and many prayers... XO
ReplyDeleteThat's from Becky (Eisnor) Bigger. I had to use my husbands email account because I don't have gmail... xo
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