Dear Allison, Brandon, Alexis, and Dawson,
I wanted to write this letter to all of you to tell you how much you all mean to me. I want to first Thank you all for choosing me to be your Mommy and to tell you all what an Honor it is!!
You all have changed my life in a way that NO ONE EVER COULD!! The day you all were born God answered prayers I had prayed for years!! With one look at you all and I was head over heels in love with you. I couldn't have ever imagined loving anyone the way I love you all. It's a love that honestly cannot be explained, and just thinking about you all makes my heart fill with so much love that I sometimes think I could burst!
Allison, the day you were born, I wasn't at all expecting it. Daddy and I were watching a movie and my water broke. I wasn't sure if it was really that or just an accident but sure enough you were ready to come into the world. I wanted to stay at home as long as I could but after being in labor from 10:15pm-1:30am my contractions were almost 4 minutes apart I thought I should get to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital and by 9:23 am you were here. Tears filled my eyes and the love overflowed my heart. We I saw your beautiful face, my heart melted. YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY GEORGIOUS!! I don't know if I will ever have towards to describe to you how amazing I felt that day. All I ever wanted was to be a Mother and my prayers were answered I thus tiny little girl. That whole day I was on cloud nine, I couldn't get enough if you and everyday has been the same. My love for you grows with each passing day and I THANK GOD every day for loving me enough to send you to me!! Allison each day you get even more beautiful and I never stop being amazed by your beauty, your love, sense of humor, and kind spirit. Right now you are only 3 years old but you are wise beyond your years. You constantly challenge yourself and push yourself one step further every day. This past week March 5-10 2012 you taught yourself to whistle, I showed you a few times and we would laugh and giggle about and now you are whistling like a champ!! I think if this little girl puts her mind to anything she could change the world. Because she has changed mine for the better and I am SOOOO BLESSED, I cannot wait to see what your future will be like. :) You tell me you want to be a Mommy like me, a Teacher like Daddy and a Doctor like Grandpa. Who knows you could be all of them and I will be soooo proud of you in whatever field you go in because this world needs more people like you!!
WITH ALL YOUR FIRST BREATHS THAT I HEARD YOU TAKE YOU TOOK MINE AWAY!!
Brandon, Alexis, and Dawson, the day you all were born we knew it was coming but, no matter how much you plan you can never be fully prepared. That morning I thought I was sooo organized but to my surprise I woke up SICK, I couldn't stop throwing up that morning. I had heartburn soooo badly with you all and I was taking meds to keep it at bay but I wasn't allowed to take anything to make it better the morning of the surgery. SO to make a long story short... I had to get a shot at the hospital to stop me from throwing up before the c-section because I couldn't stop on my own. Well delivering C-section is so different than going natural. They make sure you are VERY COMFORTABLE with meds so I wasn’t able to feel a thing. I couldn't see the clock and I didn't get to see your beautiful faces until you all were cleaned up BUT I DID HEAR YOUR CRIES AND IT WAS MUSIC TO MY EARS!!! Lexie, I couldn't hear your cry and I was SOOOOOOO worried about you but Daddy assured me you were ok. The moment I saw you all I was sooooo happy. Brandon you were the first they brought over and you were crying until I talked to you, you stopped crying and made the most perfect frown at me and just said very quiet "wah" I couldn't help but smile at your sweet face. You were the most handsome baby I had ever seen. Dawson you were the next baby to come over to me and you weren't crying at all you were co content, just blinking your beautiful eyes and you might have made a few peeps but that was about it. You were so handsome that I melted just looking at you two and just as I was soaking everything up... They took you two boys to the NICU and I didn't see you till after recovery. Lexie you were struggling to breath so they quickly shower me your face and then rushed you to the NICU, you were sooooo beautiful and all I could think of was God please watch over them, please God help my little girl!! God answered my prayers and 12 days later we all were home as a whole family.
Brandon, you are soooooo sweet!! Recently you have started smiling and cooing and I love every minute of it, we will sit and I will hold you and the moment I say your name its bam ear to ear grinning and I LOVE IT!! You make me sooooooo happy!! Your eyes of Chrystal BLUE are so amazing, each and every thing about you amazes me and I couldn't be more proud of you. You all want to roll over now but you are content most of the time just laying with everyone just relaxing, kicking and smiling all the time Brandon, you are going places sweet boy and I can't wait to see the changes you will make to not only my world but the whole world!!! I can wait to see what you say you want to be when you grow up too!!
Alexis, you are sooo sweet just like your brother, in the morning I say good morning to all of you and you are ALWAYS the first to smile at me. Your beautiful face warms my soul and I can't get enough of your sweet cheeks!! You and I have had the longest talks and you try sooooo hard for me to understand what you are saying, I pretend to and you light up. You like your Brothers have BEAUTIFUL Blue eyes but yours are different I think yours are going to turn Green the fastest. You are so sweet and kind already and I can't wait to see you grow up because you already amaze me and you remind me so much of Allison. I know you will do wonders to this world, I can see you doing something to help others because you are a very compassionate baby already... We will just have to see and I look forward to watching your life unfold!!
Dawson, you are just like Brandon and Alexis, seriously I think you all are the sweetest most caring babies ever!! Your smile is sooo cute!! You make Mommy work for it but when you do smile your whole face lights up and you sometimes don't know how to handle it. You try to be shy and hid your face but you keep your eyes on me when you try. I have anyways melted in your eyes since the moment you were born and even it the NICU I would tell Daddy when we had to go home, Dawson's eyes looking up at me makes it soooo hard to leave. You see Alexis and Brandon always fell asleep before we left but you my little man liked to talk to me and when we left to go home it was sooooo hard to go. Dawson you are growing up so fast already and I love every minute of watching it happen. You are such a fighter and I can see you doing something powerful, or running your own business. Life win you all is so much fun!
Things I think you all need to know:
No matter how hard the obstacle is I front of you, keep going because you can do ANYTHING if you put your mind to it!!
God does hear our prayers, he doesn't always answer them when we want but he does hear them. He has a bigger plan for us so when we as humans are impatient he sometimes makes us wait to fully appreciate things.
Don't ever let anyone tell you or make you feel you’re not good enough. The only way they would tell you that is because they know you can and you are better than them which makes them feel less of a person because of it.
Sometimes in life things happen that we have no control over. We can try to reason with God and pray that he changes the outcome but again it's God has a bigger plan for us. If something like this ever happens PLEASE BABIES!!, DON'T EVER TURN YOUR EYES OFF GOD! Don't get mad at him, he didn't make the situation happen, he doesn't like to see you sad or cry. Take whatever lesson it is and learn from it, grow from it because one day someone is going to need you to help the, through the same situation.
True love does exist, not all people as lucky to find their soul mates but if you do, hold on to them!! Soul mates can be a friend, a family member or the person you are meant to spend your life with.
When you get older you might not like the way Mommy or Daddy want you to act, we might punish you for acting a certain way and you will probably tell us that you think we are unfair, that you hate us, or do something like slam doors... Know we are just doing what is best for you, that we have very high expectations for your life and the even if you hate us at the time, know we love you more than you could ever imagine and we aren't mad at your emotions. We all have been there before and someday we will all laugh at what happened.
Girls, when it comes time to date people... If Daddy ever let's you :) Know that I expect allot from you in your choices. Do not date a man that is beneath you, a man who doesn't respect you or treat you like gold. You are the most BEAUTIFUL girls I have EVER seen and trust me when I say this, there isn't a man out there who is worth your tears!! When you choose someone, make him be someone who makes you laugh, tells you your Beautiful comes from a good family, RESPECTS YOU, and never puts you down, someone whom you trust. If he honks the horn for you to come out and can't come to the door to get you, TRUST ME ladies, he can beep the horn till his car stalls but he will come to the door for you. He should open the doors to places for you, silvery is not dead and you are worth the BEST!! The man you two choose to marry will be loving, kind, he will make you feel amazing, he will make you laugh, he will be kind to the whole family and he will seem to fit in like a glove, he will be a good Christian man and he will know never to hurt you!! Never settle for a man because you are lonely, God is giving you that time to discover who you are and to make you find a place in your heart for him. You will and need to love God so much that he man you marry will have to seek out God to find your heart!
Boys, my expectations for you are the same! Do now ever allow a woman to make you feel less of a man. The woman you choose to date or marry will have a high pedestal to achieve. She must love you for you and NEVER try to change you. She must be kind at heart but tough to protect her Babies. She must be kind to our family, love your brothers and sisters and must respect your Father and I. My house is filled with love; if she ever disrespects you in my house (ladies pay attention) know that it will be very hard for me to welcome them back. There are women out there who will use you, who have only one thing in mind... Again Alli and Lexie pay attention... YOU ARE BETTER THAN THESE PEOPLE!! DO NOT SETTLE EVER!! Know that there is someone out there with your name on their heart and you WILL find them if you love yourself and God enough to wait for them. Life will throw you weeds, trust me I've been there also t you have to go through the weeds to find your Rose, and when you find that person you will understand everything. Life will make sense why you had to go through what you did to get where you will be.
Allison, Brandon, Alexis and Dawson,
Life is not going to be easy, There are really good people and there are some really bad people out there. Love yourself enough to surround yourself with good people. If you find that your friends make you feel bad, don't like who you are and want you to be something or do something that you don't feel is right...GET RID OF THEM!! Friends will come and go, and should NEVER make you do something that if Daddy and I saw you doing that you would be ashamed of yourself for! ALWAYS KEEP YOUR EYES ON GOD, he is watching your every move so the same goes for him, doesn’t ever do something that would upset God to see.
People make mistakes and the object of life is to learn from our mistakes, and grow from them. If you do not learn how you went wrong you will continue to make the same mistakes in life. We are here on earth for one main purpose and that is to prove to God in our actions in life bar we are worthy of his kingdom. If you ever have a Goal in life make this you’re greatest to try to achieve. Make your Father in heaven so proud of you that when you are old and have accomplished everything God set you out to do, that he is SOO PROUD OF YOU that all of Heaven celebrates your homecoming!!
My sweet children, there is nothing you could EVER do that would make me not love you!! I will ALWAYS be here for you in any way you need me and know I will do my best to protect you from harm your whole life. I love you more than words will ever describe.
What I want most for you all is to know that I AM PROUD TO BE YOUR MOTHER!! You have made all my dreams come true, you are and always will be my greatest accomplishment, and when I die the first people I will thank God for is YOU!!
Love you always and forever!! To the moon and back!!,
Mommy
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