Written on May 11,2012

Well tonight is the first night the Babies all are in their own room. All four of my Babies all are in their own room and it hit me hard tonight. I have closed a chapter of my life and started another, I want to re read that chapter over and over again and study every part of it, memorize everything so I will never forget a second. I remember when Allison was a baby and she stayed in our room, I couldn't let her go, I wanted to keep her beside me for ever, maybe the rest of her life if I could but I knew I had to let her sleep in her own room.. Take that next step..I remember the day like it was yesterday and I cried the whole time as I took apart her bed and moved it into her room. I held her soooo tight and when I put her to bed, I hugged Eric and cried. I said our Baby is growing up to fast and we have to find a way to slow down time.. Now the same feelings are coming over me, time is going by way too fast, my babies are growing up way too fast and will be 6 months in two days, Allison will be 4 in October, and I just turned 34 today... Life is going by way too fast. Life is amazing, watching all my children take milestones is the greatest blessing ever, I wouldn't change anything for the world. I think I've checked on all four kids six times already and it's only 12:30 :) and I don't think it's the last time I will do that... The thing is they all are sleeping so soundly and I guess I was hoping this transition would be harder. That they would need to be in our room tonight because of some reason and they don't... They are comfortable and happy and I have to let go of this feeling that I feel... Life is so beautiful, we don't appreciate it when we are going through things and when something changes in our life we look back and say " oh those times were so wonderful, to only have those times back" we learn with every passing faze in our life that life is so short, we grow and learn from our parents, and before we know it our children are teaching us about life. My children are still very small BUT the lessons they teach me on a daily basis is AMAZING. Just when I think it doesn't get better than this.. It does and they show me something new that shocks me how brilliant of a little person they are and I ALWAYS am FILLED with pride, "that is my baby!!!" Allison,Brandon, Alexis and Dawson, you have changed my life in a way that NO ONE EVER COULD!! You all are sooooo absolutely perfect to me and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel overwhelmed with love for each and every one of you. Someday you are going to say to me " Mom you have told me a million times today at you love me, will you stop!!" and I will respond " oh I'm only getting started, I have a million more before the day is over" so for now, that you are little and tell me you love me back EVERYTIME, or smile your million dollar smiles back. I will tell you till I'm blue in the face, to the whole world, on the top of my lungs " I LOVE MY CHILDREN WITH ALL OF MY HEART!!! To the moon and back, TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!"